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title: Spectacles and Knickers
part: 2/?
author: amazonmink
rating: 18
disclaimer: I do not own anything here. The HP characters belong to JK Rowling.
summary: The characters in my head are a little too meta sometimes.
word count: 634



It’s odd, living in someone’s head, Percy thought as he sipped his brandy. His existence outside of this particular gray matter depended on someone else deciding whether or not he was alive. This miffed Percy from time to time, seeing as he had lived in the books.

Then, there was his room mate. He never thought he would end up with this particular person, and more often than not, she was out and about saving the world and having hot werewolf sex. Not that he wanted werewolf sex, but hell, even a little touch now and then would be acceptable.

“Why are you looking so down, Perce? Hmm? Reading an old musty book and drinking brandy again?” Tonks asked as she flounced into what he considered his part of creation. And she wasn’t wearing pants. Again.

“For the love of Merlin, woman, where are your trousers? One of your precious butt ruffles covers more!” He replied indignantly, face colouring slightly.

“What? You don’t like them?” Tonks asked innocently, waggling her hind end his direction. She was fully aware how much this bothered him, but as soon as she figured out just how much, she couldn’t help herself.

“Did Jos finally decide that he had time to talk to you?” Percy asked, putting his book down knowing that Tonks wouldn’t leave him alone anytime soon.

Tonks frowned in his direction, curling up into the wing chair opposite. Just because she had pranced into the room, took off her pants and flung them, yelling “A MAN! A MAN WHO IS OLDER THAN ME! AND HOT! AND SINGLE! AND DOESN’T HAVE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES!” and then proceeded dance around the room didn’t mean anything in the direction of one certain character.

“At least I get to play in this one. You have to sit around until Mistress Grey Matter here decides to play another game or write some fanfiction. I don’t think that a ghost line will work here. Besides, you’d just be all stodgy and boring- oh wait, you’re all ready like that.”

Percy almost stuck his tongue out at her. That wouldn’t be dignified though, so he refrained. “Be that as it may, you need to wear pants. It’s freezing out there, you know. You could lose bits, and I think that not even you could regrow lost bits.”

“I wear pants out there. I’m not like my two timing trainee. You know, Romy whatsherface. Never wears pants. I think her bum can’t be real, as cold as it is. Then again, it doesn’t really matter. She’s fun,” Tonks replied. “Why are you so concerned about my bits, hmmm Percy? You know you’d miss them.”

“Hardly. It’s not my fault I’m stuck in here with you and no where to go. Though it is nice to drink as much as I’d like and never get silly or hung over. And the glasses- all for show,” Percy said, taking them off and looking about without squinting.

“Maybe you’ll get to come out and play soon. You can always pop up in a dream sequence. That would be cool, with sound effects and stuff.”

“Hardly, Nymphadora. Hardly. I’m much more dignified than that. I’m worth at least two dream sequences. From other characters,” he replied, picking up his book again.

“You’re no fun. And it’s Dora. Honestly, Perce, will you never learn?”

“Never Nymphadora. Never. Hey- if you do ever meet up with that Jos fellow, get some- what do you call them, oh yes- smoochies in for me. I must live vicariously after all. He’s quite the nice looking chap. Not that I’ve been looking or anything,” he said from behind his book.

“UH huh,. I’ll pass the message along Perce. Enjoy your book,” Tonks cried over her shoulder, closing the door behind her.

Ahhh, silence.

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